The 2011 Super Bowl ads: A total disgrace.

Feb 7, 2011 by Andrew B.    No Comments    Posted under: Riffs

Wow. Just wow.

Before we even get into the giant pile of suck that represents the 2011 Super Bowl ads, there’s one premise you have to accept: Super Bowl ads are not about selling products, promoting benefits, providing information or creating a unique brand position. Those hallmark qualities of effective advertising left the scene in about 1985. Instead, at $3 million per spot plus huge production costs, these ungodly expensive ads are usually tiny snippets of unrelated humor or drama, leaving the viewer laughing (or maybe even emotionally intrigued) but with no clue about the product or service.

OK, fine. A stupid use of marketing money, but fine. I get that it’s not just ROI. But this year, even that would have been a major upgrade.

If you have an IQ over 95 and/or a driver’s license, you’ll instantly acknowledge that many of the 2011 Super Bowl spots degenerated into 30 seconds of masturbatory stupidity for big ad agency creatives.

Here are the worst ones, and whoever concepted, wrote, produced, shot, acted in, edited and approved these shitpiles should be attacked by a pack of starving hyenas. As a professional in this business, I resent you.

Let’s begin, shall we?

1. Doritos finger sucker guy. Having any product, especially a FOOD product, and particularly an industry-leading food product with a household name, associated with the word “eeeeeeeew” is bad. Always. How do you not know this? Not funny, not inviting, not clever. Just sick. Is this really the best you could do? Really?

2. Teleflora “Help Me Faith.” Utterly insulting. “Unbelievable rack.” Seriously? From now on, let’s characterize Teleflora and their agency with two more insulting words: Complete jackasses. Bad move for Faith Hill, too, although with her career in the toilet, it’s understandable why she’d take this gig.

3. Pepsi Max “First Date.” The “I wanna sleep with you I wanna sleep with you” thing was shocking. It was fun explaining that to the kids in the room. How utterly classless. Considering your audience, this is unforgivable. Not funny, not clever. Nothing but completely crude. You deserve every piece of hate mail over this. Times a million.

4. Groupon “Tibet.” Groupon hipsters: We know you think you’re smart and funny. We know you LOVE your own writing and how smart you are. We know you love your skinny jeans and $600 glasses. We know how stupid the rest of us are if we don’t laugh hysterically at everything you do. But trivializing Tibet and its struggles just to pimp half-price curry? Please, douchebags, just GTFO, OK?

Those are just the first four, and there are others. As a guy who’s 180 degrees from prudish, who is almost impossible to offend, who does his share of dumb writing, and who’s been in the creative development business for 20+ years, I still feel like I need to take a shower.

Which ones would you add to the list?

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